14-Year Journal

I have much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink; instead I hope to see you soon, and we will talk together face to face. (From Third John)

There’s a hardbound book that I’ve taken up again, nearly every morning for the past several weeks. It’s my journal. I jot down my thoughts, my memories of the previous day, my predictions and musings about what the near future might hold. I even complain to it in writing. Some prayers are recorded there. Some poems too. I’ve noticed “to-do” lists. I wonder how well I did in doing those to-do’s!

There are also huge gaps in time. In a few cases I had not written in my journal for more than a year. Do you think that I would write about the birth of my daughters? When I turn back to that time, I realize that I wrote in the days leading up, but not in the days following. I suppose I was busy with something else, like changing diapers or catching up with sleep.

This same journal has been written-in at some point over the span of 14 years. I started writing just as Dawn and I were married. It is truly amazing to look back to those earlier years, within the very same journal. Someday I will run out of pages and have to pick up with a new book. It will be a sad transition.

Why is journaling important to me? Well, aside from the benefit of being able to jog my memory as time passes, the real benefit is that I have a chance to clear my head, in a way to “commune” with my journal. In a way it is also a narrative of my faith.

When John was writing to a man named Gaius, he closed the very short letter with the words you see above. Look at these words closely. “I would rather not write with pen and ink; instead I hope to see you soon, and we will talk together face to face.” I believe that my journaling, which is a personal thing, has a way of drawing closer to myself those whom I love - family and friends, members of the congregation I serve. John wished to see Gaius, so that his letter could continue in face-to-face communication. What an interesting thought! Writing with speech rather than pen and ink.

My sister Mary has started a blog about journaling. I suppose this kind of thing runs in the family. If you’re interested in seeing it, and you have Internet access, check out

www.maryaalgaard.blogspot.com

Ammo

Did you know that when you are at the airport security and you try to send a harmonica through the machine, this raises all kinds of warnings? Amazing but true.

I learned that little lesson a few years ago when I was flying to the Midwest. The kind lady at the screening station told me that a harmonica looks suspiciously like a gun clip. Now that I look at it a certain way I guess it's true. Certainly depends on one's perspective, doesn't it?

When I watch the news, and especially when I listen to political rhetoric going back and forth in the media, I listen for fear bordering on panic. Once I tune my ears to hear those messages, I can hear them all over the place. I suppose an amount of the fear-tactics is warranted. This is not necessarily a safe world in which we live. That being said, I will still likely vote for candidates and proposals that I consider less involved with fear-tactics. I hope it's a good principle to live by. If it turns out to not be, I shudder to think what might happen ;0)

I have to pause and marvel at exactly WHAT is mistaken for a gun clip here. A harmonica of all things! I got into harmonica playing partly because of a love for the early Dylan music. Dylan considered Woody Guthrie to be one of his musical and ideological influences. Later in life, Guthrie was eyed with suspicion by his anti-communist government for his populist statements. I just like playing the harmonica from time to time. I also am very curious and interested in what made people like Guthrie "tick" when living in the midst of so much fear on a macro-level.

Music has a prophetic function. It definitely uncovers and even unseats deep-set ways of thinking. In that case, it really is ammo. In that case, a harmonica can cause more "damage" than a whole clip full of bullets.

For example, take a read of Woody's own song "Jesus Christ"

Jesus Christ was a man who wandered through the land,
A hard-workin' man and brave.
He said to the rich, "Give your money to the poor"
But they laid Jesus Christ in his grave...

In other words, the establishment doesn't own Jesus. These words have a possibility of enflaming some. Coming out of the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression, Guthrie's perspective was heavily influenced by the working-poor he met along the way.

The lady at security let me keep my harmonica. What was she thinking.

Reel to Reel, Spool to Spool

This old photo shows my great grandmother and my great uncle, having what I think is an evening of correspondence. They lived in Norway, in the area called Sokndal. The property is still in our family, and correspondence continues to this day, especially now that the Internet is at our fingertips!

My grandpa came to America in 1921. His connection to the family "back home" remained strong throughout his life, however. My father remembers grandpa sitting at the kitchen table every Sunday afternoon, writing letters to his family in Norway. I am almost certain there were gifts of money sent along with many of those letters, since it was a very meager living they made during those years.

Grandpa was also a lover of gadgets, especially the kind that connected people. He had a home movie camera. If I'm not mistaken, he was filming his family as early as 1935 with that machine. He eventually decided he wasn't made for farming, apprenticed as a photographer, later to open a studio in town. He drove the sixteen miles every day, to and from the studio.

He also bought a few reel-to-reel tape recorders. Uncle Karl is sitting in front of their machine in this photo. Grandpa kept one for himself and (I believe) brought one to Norway for his parents to have and use. So those letters soon became audio-letters, spools of audio tape sent back and forth across the Atlantic from America to Norway. Grandpa would record on one side of the tape, and the family in Norway would receive the tape, listen, and record on the other side.

We still have many of those tapes. My Dad arranged for several of them to be transferred digitally to cd's. They had a long-awaited trip to Norway this summer, along with a few other family members, and they brought these recordings along as gifts to their relatives.

I believe I have an expanded understanding of myself when I look back to the details of my family, of those who came before me. I also believe there is inherently a desire in a family system to maintain some kind of connection, to be able to use the others in the family as support, as resources throughout life. My grandpa's family could have so easily been torn apart by the common story of emigration. There were eight children born to my great grandparents. Four of them eventually came to North America. One died in China while serving as a Christian missionary, but he too was rumored to have wanted to make his way to the new world. That left only three children to stay home.

But this extraordinary effort to maintain connections has born fruit for me and for many in my family! I have a long list of second cousins, all of whom are interested in who I am and what kind of life I lead. I tell you, the interest is mutual. There's a certain kind of love there, which nurtures some kind of peace in me.

Gaining a New Perspective

Our household has nine persons. Five of them actually eat food and participate in animated family life. That leaves four short members of the family: Kerstin, Elizabeth, Emily and Chrissa. They never soil their clothes, do not ask for seconds, and don't add anything to our toilet paper budget. They are American Girl dolls.

Have you heard of this phenom? American Girl dolls fetch about $90, and then they belong to the upper crust of toys. In fact, it doesn't seem quite right to call them toys. American Girl dolls are more like companions. They travel (not taking much space) with us on long trips. They have a miniature closet full of outfits for any occasion.

Each girl owns two dolls. They received their first ones as gifts from mom and dad. Their second dolls were purchased by themselves! We're proud of that fact as mom and dad.

Kerstin has a problem. She is dealing with unnatural hair loss. She has been brushed and brushed and brushed, sometimes not so carefully. Now it's time for a new perspective. She will soon be sent by postal service down to California to the American Girl Doll hospital and receive a new head. She is having a head transplant! Guess who's paying the price for that seemingly delicate surgery? My oldest daughter!

Hmm, Kerstin's body is getting a new head. A new way to see the world. If only such a radical change were possible for humans. It's true that something heard, something experienced, something felt will give us quite a different lease on life, a new perspective. It is possible to have such a new way of seeing things, that the old way is history.

Taste and see that the Lord is good (from Psalm 34)

I’m reading a book entitled “Take This Bread”, by Sara Miles. It’s an autobiographical story of a woman who became a Christian when she was encountered by Christ in Holy Communion. “I didn’t find God,” she says, “God found me.” In fact, Ms. Miles isn’t all that sure she was looking for God. One Sunday morning, a little wave of curiosity washed over her when she saw an Episcopal church. Their doors were open (literally, the doors were open), she heard the sounds of the congregation in worship, and she stepped through those doors.

But her awakening to faith in Christ happened when she was given a piece of bread. Jesus was placed in her hand. She ate the bread and was moved to tears, like the rest of us not totally understanding what happens there in that meal, but overwhelmed by the way she was being touched by God, and touching God. Sara Miles had been raised an atheist.

She was baptized a year later. The same week of her baptism, she started a community food pantry in the church’s sanctuary. The altar table was the first to be loaded up with things like canned corn, apples, and bags of rice. That pantry is still operating, mostly with the help and leadership of people who once were clients of the pantry.

Throughout the book, Ms. Miles is careful to note that from her perspective, receiving Jesus in a piece of bread at communion is the same thing as distributing Jesus to another human being by giving a can of corn. So it made sense to her to use the altar for this “program”. She began to see the Friday pantry shift as another time of worship. In fact, the priest of that congregation asked Sara to include the number of people receiving food in their worship attendance registry.

My message to you is that I hope you consider serving communion. Week after week the sign-up sheet has been blank. So on most Sundays before worship begins, I “scope out” the congregation to see who might be willing to serve Jesus. I have begun sharing the responsibility of handing out bread. Two positive benefits to that are that others get a chance to place Jesus in the hands of recipients, and I get to pray a short prayer or say a blessing for others as I come around with the chalice. It’s a wonderful experience.

The first time I served communion, I was a student in college. I helped in our local congregation in Issaquah Washington. After the service I remarked to Pastor Larry how powerful and significant that experience was, that I got to see the faith of the person as they waited for me to place Jesus in their hand. It was actually quite profound. And humbling.

Would you like to be part of that? There’s room for you to serve! Taste and see that the Lord is good.

A Happy Boy, and a not-yet happy reader

This is another short post on a scandinavian novel. Bjørnson's "A Happy Boy", finished in 1860, this is a story about the coming-of-age of a boy named Oyvind. He approaches life with a positive outlook in general, but as his relationships expand and as his responsibilities stack up, he learns that the world has a colder edge to it, and that his place in caste creates barriers to his dreams. Weaving through this story is a budding love with a feisty girl named Marit.

My struggle doesn't have anything to do with the novel. It has to do with Kindle for Mac. I got the free download for my Macbook Pro and my iPod Touch. The cool thing about that software is that it syncs to where I was reading, whether I was using my computer or my iPod. Another great thing is that this book was downloaded for free (it's public domain) and I received it all but instantly. No shipping costs. A great way to try out this e-book phenomenon. No costs whatsoever unless you want to count your DSL hookup. And the devices you use.

The downside to an e-reader is that I felt limited by the one-screen-at-a-time functionality. Yes I know, a person can turn back to a previous page, but I had the sense that I was walking on a beam with my reading. As one who tends to back read, it was bothersome.

I found that the Kindle for iPod was tooled out better than for the Mac. You would think it would be the other way around. With the iPod I could "dog ear" pages, but I didn't experiment with that too much. With the iPod I could also write my own notes and attach them to the text, even in this free book.

The Mac version of the software would do well to build in some of these interactive tools. Full note functionality. Dictionary. Bookmarking. Since it's digital a concordance would be handy.

I will try again. The convenience of getting a book by download is wonderful, but the interface needs work, in my humble opinion.

Shusaku Endo, "Deep River"

This is the second book I've read by Endo. The first was an amazing look into the early days of Christianity in Japan titled "Silence." If you want to know what it's like to suffer for the sake of faith, in my context Christian faith, that book will strike you in the heart.

This book "Deep River" is more modern in context, but it brings up ancient faith and practices. A group of Japanese tourists travel to India as a tour group. The way Endo introduces them somehow reminds me of Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales," where the sitz im leben of each individual pilgrim is brought to bear.

But no direct comparisons can be drawn. This story belongs to Endo, and to every seeking, spiritually wondering and wandering person. At the center of the story is a woman named Mitsuko, who is appalled by deep spiritual ferver, and yet is attracted to it. Whether she moves closer to God through her experiences remains to be seen.

But coursing through the novel is the River Ganges, and in particular the spiritual interaction that everyone in the story has with it. It is accepting and constant, and like God, it draws all things to itself. It draws out of people emotions and actions that heretofore they wouldn't have considered.

This is a good story to use to think about the "suffering servant." It is also a good story to use when wanting to describe how confession happens inside the human heart when met by things like beauty, death and pathos.

Enough rambling. Hey, I actually used the word heretofore.

Kristin Lavransdatter

Lately I've been very interested in Scandinavian culture and history, especially Norwegian. I've read a collection of plays by Henrik Ibsen, earlier I read a book called "The Emigrants" by Wilhelm Moberg (Swedish). Now I'm reading the first of a trilogy by Sigrid Undsett, Kristin Lavransdatter.

It's set in 14th century Norway, during a time when a social and economic caste system was strictly followed. Men sought honor and prestige. Women did the best they could with the circumstances they were afforded, either by fate (God) or their man.

Kristin grows up in this first installment. She finds love (sometimes noticing it too late) and struggles between new loves and loyalty to her loving father. This story is a wonderful re-telling of the tangled mess that relationships become. There are power struggles, deep-set anxieties, fears and joys.

Sigrid Undsett was a wonderful storyteller. If you want a glimpse into Norwegian culture, history and contemporary caricatures, this is a great place to start. This work is a new translation, overdue according to the translator Tiina Nunnally. With her contributions the novel has a great contemporary feel.